Louis Armstrong - When The Saints Go Marching In
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010Read more and post comments at standfirminfaith.com »
[CofE] Reform write to General Synod on Women Bishops
Posted by David Ould on February 8th, 2010An illustration of the practical problems we will face should a Measure fail to provide adequate safeguards, can be seen with future ordinands. At the moment we are encouraging young men into the ordained ministry in the knowledge that they cannot be discriminated against if they hold convictions about male headship. While this remains the case, we have encouraged them to believe that there is a worthwhile future for their ministries in the Church of England. However, we will be unable to do this if inadequately protective legislation is passed. The issue that will then arise is how to encourage these men to develop their ministries if they cannot do so within the formal structures of the Church of England. The answer must be to encourage them to undertake training for ministries outside those formal structures, although hopefully still within an Anglican tradition. We will, of course, have to help them with the financing of their training.
Our congregations will inevitably start asking questions about their own place within the Church of England if they see us encouraging people into training for alternative ministries. This will come into sharp focus when the issue of succession to an incumbency arises. Since we cannot take an oath of canonical obedience to a female bishop, we are unlikely to be appointed to future incumbencies. We see nothing but difficulty facing us. In these circumstances we will have to discuss with our congregations how to foster and protect the ministry they wish to receive. This is likely to generate a need for the creation of new independent charitable trusts whose purpose will be to finance our future ministries, when the need arises.
These twin developments will need to be financed from current congregational giving. This will inevitably put a severe strain on our ability to continue to contribute financially to Diocesan funds.
...
Finally, for those of us ordained since 1992, our understanding, in good faith, was that proper legal provision would be made for those who did not agree that women should have the overall leadership of a church (Resolution B, etc). It seems to us a matter of simple integrity that Synod should now keep its word to us in this and not force us down a road none of us wish to tread.
I think that's pretty clear.
The letter has 50 signatories, including Rod Thomas, the chair of Reform, and prominent evangelicals such as David Banting, Vaughan Roberts, Jonathan Fletcher, Melvin Tinker, Willy Taylor and Bishop Wallace Benn.
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General Synod - business done Monday
Posted by Peter Owen at Thinking Anglicans on February 8th, 2010Read more and post comments at thinkinganglicans.org.uk »
Hollywood Has Seen the Enemy . . .
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010I haven't seen the film -- nor do I want to as I don't care for overtly didactic works of art anyway. Avatar reminds me of The Cider House Rules, which took a lot of nice visuals and a nice soundtrack and interesting actors and made a little tract about how great abortion is and how heroic abortion doctors are and how we should support them -- just exactly like the Puritan tracts about how little boys and girls should be good or will Come To A Very Bad End. Certainly that may be "teaching" -- but it's really bad art and bad movie making.
Here's Jonah Goldberg on Avatar:
But I do love movies, and I’m fascinated by what they say about American life. Of course, movies don’t always reflect or articulate what moviegoers are thinking. Often they merely express what Hollywood thinks Americans are thinking or what Hollywood thinks they should believe.
For instance, over the last decade, Hollywood has unleashed a stream of high-profile films directly or indirectly about the war in Iraq. Nearly all of the polemical anti-war films bombed. Robert Redford & Co. were desperate to remake Coming Home and other anti-war films, but Americans weren’t interested. The few war movies that did well pretty much avoided the sort of preachy jeremiads you’d expect to hear at Susan Sarandon’s book club. For instance, The Hurt Locker — nominated for Best Picture — largely ignores the debate over the war and instead tells a gripping story about our troops’ heroism. The Kingdom, another War on Terror movie, was a hit despite the best intentions of director Peter Berg, who wanted it to be a parable about the cycle of violence. It succeeded because it was a good action movie that depicted Americans as heroes.
It’s a bit funny, then, to hear some people claim that Avatar, with its cartoonish environmentalism and hackneyed attacks on the military and those evil corporations, is proof that Americans love serious left-wing preaching with their popcorn. “For years,” writes Patrick Goldstein in the Los Angeles Times, “pundits and bloggers on the right have ceaselessly attacked liberal Hollywood for being out of touch with rank and file moviegoers, complaining that executives and filmmakers continue to make films that have precious little resonance with Middle America.” The last laugh is on them, cackles Goldstein, because Avatar “totally turns this theory on its head.”
I’m sure Goldstein’s right. No doubt James Cameron could have made Avatar for $300 million less and still made a fortune. After all, audiences didn’t need the 3-D digital magic, explosions, giant aliens, or spectacular backdrops. All they wanted was an extended lecture about the evils of corporate America and the cruelty of the military, and some gassy pantheistic blather about the need to get back to nature.
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Planned Parenthood Pushes Intensive Sex Education For Kids As Young As 10
Posted by Jackie on February 8th, 2010A new report by the International Planned Parenthood Federation is advocating that children as young as 10 be given extensive sex education, including an awareness of sex's pleasures.The entire article is available here.
The report, "Stand and Deliver," charges that religious groups, specifically Catholics and Muslims, deny their young access to comprehensive sexual programs and education.
"Young people's sexuality is still contentious for many religious institutions. Fundamentalist and other religious groups — the Catholic Church and madrasas (Islamic Schools) for example — have imposed tremendous barriers that prevent young people, particularly, from obtaining information and services related to sex and reproduction. Currently, many religious teachings deny the pleasurable and positive aspects of sex." the report states.
The report demands that children 10 and older be given a "comprehensive sexuality education" by governments, aid organizations and other groups, and that young people should be seen as "sexual beings."
The entire Planned Parenthood report is here.
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Leaving Home, Part II
Posted by Matt Kennedy on February 8th, 2010That first Sunday away from Old Good Shepherd, as it has come to be known, was bitingly cold and it had snowed six inches overnight. I'd read the weather reports the night before and prayed fretfully for God to work some kind of miracle. The last thing we needed our first Sunday out was momentum killing weather. On regular Sundays six inches would mean a small dip in attendance, especially for the earlier service. I had no idea what it would mean for our first Sunday in a gym.
Conklin Avenue Baptist is exactly half a mile away from the rectory of St. Andrew's. I went earlier than usual and alone to lead the 8 o'clock service. Pastor Hollinger had given us keys the day before and a few men and I had spent part of Saturday night setting up about 60 chairs--always better to add than subtract seating I think--and tables for food. The altar guild ladies had transformed an old folding table into an altar and done their best to make it beautiful. They didn't have much to work with. Our fine altar linens, silver chalices and patens, candles, vestments were left behind. We were left with one bluish clay chalice and paten, an older green vestment, some cloth that one of the altar guild ladies brought, and some candles Anne and I bought in Israel.
Answering questions from 8 o'clockers during announcement time at the early service
At about five ,the 8 o'clockers began to file in, all of them. I have to admit being surprised, not just because of the weather, but because 8 o'clockers are traditionalists by nature. I feared that the gym's utilitarian setting versus the majesty of Christ Church (the cardinal Episcopal parish in downtown Binghamton) might be too tempting for some. But I'd misjudged them. They were all there.
The service was remarkably unremarkable. Readings, liturgy, sermon, communion. Liturgy is a comfort at times like this. There were many questions during announcement time that I simply could not answer. "How long are we going to be in this gym?" "Are we looking for a new church building?" "Are we going to appeal the judgment?" I didn't have much to say. We'd scheduled a special vestry meeting that Wednesday (a local church, Ross Memorial Presbyterian, had offered their classrooms to our vestry for meeting space), but I really had no idea.
There was one piece of information I had at this point that I could not share. Having moved into the rectory earlier in the week, we'd begun to cast our eyes longingly toward the former St. Andrew's church building which stood mere feet from the rectory door. It was big, beautiful, and empty. I talked it over with the wardens and we decided that, since I had a good relationship with him, I should call Msgr Meaghar before the week's end to discuss the possibility of renting the space. I probably should have called to ask right off the bat, but Msgr Meaghar had already done so much for us and he had not offered the worship space when we spoke about the rectory so I was ashamed to ask for anything more. So I prayed that God would give me the words to say and give me the confidence to say them and I put it off. I procrastinated. I procrastinated all week long until finally, Saturday night, driving back to the rectory after setting up the gym, I realized I could not put it off any more. I'd see my wardens the next day and I couldn't face them without having made the call.
About five minutes after I walked through the door, my cell phone rang. It was Msgr. Meaghar.
"Listen" he said, "Do you have a place to worship tomorrow?"
"Yes" I said, "Pastor Hollinger was good enough to offer us his gym so we're planning to worship there".
"Well, I had no idea you were out of your church already or I would have called earlier. Before you make plans for next Sunday, call me."
My heart was pounding. I felt sure that he intended to offer the St. Andrew's sanctuary, but I couldn't be sure and I didn't want to jump too eagerly. Maybe he wants to offer some space at his current location? There was no way to know and he didn't offer anymore information so I decided not to press him. Instead, I thanked him for his concern for us and I expressed, again, our deep gratitude for the use of the rectory, and promised to call him Monday. He said good-bye and we hung up.
I couldn't share any of this on Sunday morning. I reported the conversation to the wardens but there was really nothing firm to tell the congregation and we didn't want to get hopes up (theirs or ours) so we decided to keep it to ourselves until Monday.
Meanwhile, the 8 o'clockers were also concerned about the legal situation which was still up in the air.
Choir sings at the later service
I couldn't say this at the time, but I was somewhat disappointed that the judgment was not a blanket loss. Far better, from a pastoral standpoint, to lose everything at once and deal with it than to have a continuing court battle while trying to build a new church. Furthermore, lots of my parishioners knew Mr. Branan personally and well and were scandalized at the now distinct probability the judge would hand their old friend's bequest over to the diocese that had sued the church he had so loved.
The first service ended with the familiar warmth of handshakes and smiles. There were questions, big ones, hanging in the air but it was clear that the 8 o'clockers were committed to Good Shepherd for the long haul.
8 o'clockers, as a rule, do not stay for Sunday School. Instead about 30 to 40 from the 10:30am service come early for adult ed. We'd been working through a series of lessons based on Neibur's Christ and Culture and I planned to keep that focus despite the new circumstances. My theory is that the less people think in terms of "crisis mode" in the middle of a crisis the better. So I determined to answer questions honestly when they arose but to speak, preach, and converse in a manner that conveyed, despite my own deep anxiety and doubts, confidence in God's plan and purpose for us and trust in his providence.
From Anne
Meanwhile, I was was back at home rifling through piles of beautifully clean laundry and boxes trying to get everyone clothed and in their right minds for Sunday school. Besides being overwhelmed by the basic circumstances of life at that moment, we'd all been overwhelmed by the luxury of having three bathrooms and an enormous kitchen. No one knew which bathroom to occupy or which chair to sit in or what to eat for breakfast or what to wear.
And the children were weepy. A forced move from home and church in one week had been a difficult but abstract concept that we were all willing to live through abstractly two weeks before. But now the abstract had become real. We were getting dressed in a palatial but strangely empty house, not our own, to go to church in a gym. It was now enfleshed reality that we would never go home or worship in the Old Good Shepherd again.
Furthermore, in a fit of insanity, I'd had my hair cut short two days in the middle of the week. While the children squabbled and fussed, I tried to carefully and ineffectively muss my hair in the manner prescribed by the hairstylist. I eventually gave up and we shoved ourselves into the car feeling not ourselves and not entirely in our right minds.
The whole half mile was spent in anxious wondering about where we were going. Emma and Aedan didn't have a concept that "church" was bigger than the building we used to occupy. When you say "We're going to church", surely we mean to the place we always go on Sunday and every other day. Our holidays away visiting other "churches" never made any lasting impression. Aedan's voice gets higher and higher when he is unsure of himself, and Emma's is swallowed in her throat.
Arriving to worship at Conklin Ave. Baptist was infused with the same sense of overabundance as being in the new house. Everybody fell down in the big drifts of snow in the few short steps from the car to the door, but the gym was so perfectly warm and bright. The number of classrooms provided for our use were so many. The donuts and cookies were too great and of too many kinds to number. (Possibly out of nervousness, it seemed that everyone had brought something to eat. Fortunately, the kitchen was so vast as to accommodate them all.) All of God's grace and providence hit us like a wave as we walked in so that we all cheered up and launched into the usual chaos of a regular Sunday morning.
Despite the plethora of rooms and opportunities, all the younger Sunday School met together for comfort's sake and walked through the 23 Psalm--the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need, I have more than I need. We lit the candle and organized the sheep and shepherd and the children all talked about how they saw that was God leading us from one pasture to another. Woe was turned to wonder and excitement about what God was doing.
Matt again
In other words, Class went well. There were about 35 adults, and all the kids classes were filled to usual capacity. The adults were much more interested in "secularism", which was the topic (still setting the context for Christ and Culture) than in anything else. Mostly we were all bewildered at the fact that we were in such a different place doing much the same thing.
There is about a 15 minute interval between the end of Sunday School and the beginning of the 10:30 service. It was during that interval that the press, once again, arrived. This time it was one television crew from News 10 Now. They asked whether they could stay for the service. As long as the camera did not interfere with worship, I had no problem with it and, in general, think it a good thing for press people to be in church. But it did add to my sinful worry. If nobody shows up, I thought, then the cameras will pan across a basically empty gym and that would only add to the gloating we were beginning to hear from the Episcopalians all over town.
There was no reason to worry about the cameras (you can watch the news video shot that day here and read the accompanying article). We had about sixty for the 10:30am which meant that the seats we put out were filled. But this was still not good. We were pegging in the low 90's regularly before we moved. This first Sunday out we were down to 80 total (including the 8 o'clock). I immediately began piling anxiety on top of anxiety. What if this is the beginning of a long slow trickle of loss? What happens if Msgr Meaghar has something else in mind besides the St. Andrew's sanctuary? What's it going to be like two months from now with 60 people total, ever decreasing numbers, increasing sense of loss and homelessness?
Celebrating communion on a folding gym table
Celebrating communion on a folding gym table
Men's Bible Study meets at Dennys
The congregation's attitude that morning was the polar opposite of mine. There was a sense of excitement and anticipation and trust. People were downright jovial during after the service. Kids running everywhere, pastries, cake, donuts and coffee flowing. Those who belonged to the various bible studies promised they would be there and everyone said they would be back for worship.
But it was clear that the gym, as nice as it was, would not be sufficient long term.
Even without telling anyone about the call from Msgr Meaghar, the St. Andrew's facility was on everyone's mind. John Chaney, our junior warden, had, long before we lost the lawsuit, been in favor of making an offer for St. Andrew's and had drawn up a financial plan for doing it. But in the middle of the fight for our beloved building, few were willing to go that route.
Things were different now.
And, thanks to the wisdom of various parishioners, we were not destitute. When the diocese filed their suit in April of 2008, there was an immediate and dramatic drop in giving. Nobody wanted to give to Good Shepherd knowing that, should we lose the case, all assets would have to be handed over to the Diocese of Central New York. Instead of giving to Good Shepherd, they pooled their money in an account held by a completely separate charitable organization that had been set up (years earlier and not by anyone from Good Shepherd) to help churches in distress. The leaders of this group of parishioners invited those who could no longer give in good conscience to Good Shepherd to contribute what they would normally give to this separate organization instead.
From April 2008 to January 2009, this group had saved up about $100,000.00.
St. Andrew's was on the market. It had been appraised at $700,000.00. This appraisal included the entire property--the rectory, 400 seat sanctuary and parish hall, school building, parking lot and storage facility. That may not sound like much money for readers from places like Virginia and Texas, but property prices are generally much lower here in Binghamton and 700K is just right for a property of St. Andrew's size.ew
Inside the St. Andrew's Sanctuary
So, after a number of Sunday afternoon conversations with the wardens, it was resolved that at some point during my conversation with Msgr Meaghar on Monday, even if he offers something else, I would ask about the possibility of renting St. Andrew's for Sunday worship.
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California Faux Gay “Marriages” Case: Judge Walker’s Skewed Judgment
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010According to this column in today’s San Francisco Chronicle, “The biggest open secret in the landmark trial over same-sex marriage being heard in San Francisco is that the federal judge who will decide the case, Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker, is himself gay.”
In terms of his judicial performance in the anti-Proposition 8 case, the bottom-line question that matters isn’t whether Walker is straight or gay. It’s whether he is capable of ruling impartially. I have no reason to doubt that there are homosexuals who could preside impartially over this case, just as I have no reason to doubt that there are heterosexuals whose bias in favor of, or against, same-sex marriage would unduly skew their handling of the case.
From the outset, Walker’s entire course of conduct in the anti-Prop 8 case has reflected a manifest design to turn the lawsuit into a high-profile, culture-transforming, history-making, Scopes-style show trial of Prop 8’s sponsors. Consider his series of controversial — and, in many instances, unprecedented — decisions:
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Mike Watson Blogs On Some Upcoming Convention Resolutions: Whither the Diocese of Texas
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010In this case, the action taken by the committee was apparently in response to two resolutions received from a group of five individuals, including the Very Rev. Joe Reynolds, Dean of Christ Church Cathedral and the Rev. David Boyd, Rector of St. David’s, Austin. One of the resolutions put forward by this group upholds same-gender couples living in committed relationships, saying the relationships are characterized by “the holy love which enables those in such relationships to see in each other the image of God.” The commentary accompanying the resolution affirms the integrity of such relationships and that some persons in these relationships are “in all ways faithfully participating in Diocesan life.” In putting forth its own resolution, the resolutions committee stated (as published in Volume I of the Journal) that it intended to preserve the spirit of the two resolutions that had been submitted by the group, while doing so in “a true and complete statement of unity and inclusion.” According to material on the Diocese’s website, in response to the committee’s resolution, Dean Reynolds, Fr. Boyd and the other proposers have withdrawn their original resolutions.
Apparently the committee’s objective of putting forward a resolution that is a true and complete statement of inclusion is thought to be achieved by making the resolution applicable not only to same gender couples but also to relationships involving heterosexuals, Anglos, persons of color or diverse languages, rich and poor, young and old, healthy and infirmed, etc. Not to be outdone in inclusiveness when it comes to sexual identity categories, the resolutions committee adds “transgendered,” which was not included in the two submitted resolutions. The various additions, however, don’t keep the Committee’s resolution from according honor to gay and lesbian relationships and saying that these relationships are means of making God known. One wonders if the Committee’s thinking is that by adding in all the other identity groupings, this will no longer be noticed?
It is true that the Committee’s resolution correctly states that persons who identify as gay or lesbian are loved by God. But if this were the only point it would have been sufficient to use the language to that effect in Lambeth Resolution 1.10 (1998). The point of the Committee’s resolution is not to support Lambeth 1.10, which according to the Archbishop of Canterbury still reflects Communion teaching. Its effect is instead to place the Diocese in opposition to Lambeth 1.10 by upholding a category of relationship that Communion teaching considers inappropriate.
The Diocesan committee’s resolution calls for pastoral care to be extended to these relationships. While the Anglican Primates have called for a “breadth of private response to situations of individual pastoral care,” (Pastoral Letter of May 2003) the source they cite for this is the paper True Union in the Body, which states:
“Pastoral care that is shaped by this costly grace will resist actions to legitimate same-sex unions and seek to show that, because they are in theological error, such actions by the Church do not contain within them the promised seed of freedom.”
(True Union in the Body, paragraph 5.15) It is hard to argue that the committee’s resolution does not seek to legitimate same-sex unions. The text itself does so, as does the Committee’s own acknowledgement that its resolution encompasses the spirit of the resolutions submitted by Dean Reynolds and Fr. Boyd. In a way the committee’s resolution goes further, by placing homosexual relationships on a par with marriage between a man and a woman, drawing no distinction between the treatment to be accorded one versus the other.
Is what the resolutions committee has produced a statement of unity? Obviously it is not if words are to be given their ordinary meanings. And here again the provenance of the resolution is instructive. Dean Reynolds, a deputy to the 2009 General Convention, wrote during it, “if the cost of unity and the absence of conflict is the denial of people and relationships that I have come to believe are holy and life-giving, then the cost is just too high.” In the original resolutions submitted by his group, disagreement on the subject matter was even acknowledged. Dean Reynolds seems to know, if the majority of the resolutions committee do not, that what is being put forward is not a proposal for unity.
It might be argued that the resolution is relatively innocuous because it doesn’t really have any operative effect. History shows, however, that resolutions such as this, once passed, are deployed as arguments in favor of more substantive measures. For example, the first paragraph of one of the resolutions proposed by the Reynolds, et al., group contains language taken verbatim from Resolution D039 of the 2000 ECUSA General Convention, recognizing committed relationships “characterized by fidelity, monogamy, mutual affection and respect, careful, honest communication, and the holy love which enables those in such relationships to see in each other the image of God." This language has been used in support of subsequent action by General Convention, most recently by incorporation into Resolution D025 (2009) supporting persons in same-sex relationships being called to any ordained ministry in the Episcopal Church. The approval of Resolution D025 laid groundwork for the subsequent election and likely consent to the consecration to the episcopate of the Rev. Mary Glasspool. Dean Reynolds, as a deputy to the 2009 General Convention who voted in favor of D025, would have been aware of the potential future uses of language such as that included in the resolution he proposed (the spirit of which, please recall, the resolution committee intends to preserve).
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Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010They were definitely underdogs too. Very few people gave them a chance -- many predictors at ESPN will have egg on their faces.
Which just all goes to show.
You just never know.
And . . . it's why you play the game, rather than simply tot up all the past stats and records and announce the winner without entering the field.
If the New Orleans Saints can win the SuperBowl, people, anything can happen. I'll be thinking about that as I go through my week.
Here's a little snippet from the AFP News article:
Ecstatic fans poured into the streets of the French Quarter late Sunday as storm-scarred New Orleans celebrated its first-ever Super Bowl win by their beloved Saints.
A city famous for diversions - Mardi Gras, music and colorful politics, to name a few - set aside distractions to focus on the big game.
Even the strippers on bawdy Bourbon Street stopped dancing. Instead, they joined thousands of revelers cheering the Saints on live television sets at nearby bars.
"We have no music, no stages. It's the first time I've seen a club shut down and I've been doing this for five years," said Sam Stonebraker, 34, a host at Rick's Cabaret.
"The game is pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime event in this city."
White fireworks burst in the distance. Strangers hugged, whooped and hollered in the streets, waving flags, shaking cowbells and dancing to spontaneous brass bands.
College students embraced restaurant waiters. A homeless man toasted beers with well-dressed tourists. Camera flashbulbs popped. Motorists honked horns with a cheerful cadence usually heard only at Carnival.
Stunned by the team's fourth-quarter thrashing of the Colts, Saints fans in the French Quarter seemed speechless, but happily so.
The only intelligible sound from the celebratory crowds was repeated choruses of the cajun chant "Who Dat!"
The Saints' surprisingly successful season after 43 years of dismal performances has been a powerful tonic for residents still recovering from the killer August 26, 2005 storm that flooded nearly 80 percent of the low-lying coastal city.
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[Entirely On Topic For Anglicans] From Huckleberry Finn: The Royal Nonesuch
Posted by Sarah on February 8th, 2010You can see more of Mark Twain over at the PBS section on him. I note that two daughters, one son, a brother, and his wife all died during his lifetime. An argument could be made quite easily that he is one of the top five greatest American authors, and one of the more "normally tragic" public figures that I know.
You can find the full chapter 23 here . . . which closes with the typical and gripping empathetic sensibilities of Twain, so masterfully composed. Who among us have not done something so foolish and blind and haven't teared up reading of Jim's terrible regret and loneliness -- which of course, for his time and era and country, was precisely the best thing Twain could have done for his underlying goals.
So the duke said these Arkansaw lunkheads couldn’t come up to Shakespeare; what they wanted was low comedy – and maybe something ruther worse than low comedy, he reckoned. He said he could size their style. So next morning he got some big sheets of wrapping paper and some black paint, and drawed off some handbills, and stuck them up all over the village. The bills said:
AT THE COURT HOUSE!
FOR 3 NIGHTS ONLY!
The World-Renowned Tragedians
DAVID GARRICK THE YOUNGER!
AND
EDMUND KEAN THE ELDER!
Of the London and Continental Theatres,
In their Thrilling Tragedy of
THE KING’S CAMELEOPARD,
OR
THE ROYAL NONESUCH ! ! !
Admission 50 cents.
Then at the bottom was the biggest line of all, which said:
LADIES AND CHILDREN NOT ADMITTED.
“There,” says he, “if that line don’t fetch them, I don’t know Arkansaw!”
Well, all day him and the king was hard at it, rigging up a stage and a curtain and a row of candles for footlights; and that night the house was jam full of men in no time. When the place couldn’t hold no more, the duke he quit tending door and went around the back way and come on to the stage and stood up before the curtain and made a little speech, and praised up this tragedy, and said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was; and so he went on a-bragging about the tragedy, and about Edmund Kean the Elder, which was to play the main principal part in it; and at last when he’d got everybody’s expectations up high enough, he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours, naked; and he was painted all over, ring-streaked-and-striped, all sorts of colors, as splendid as a rainbow. And – but never mind the rest of his outfit; it was just wild, but it was awful funny. The people most killed themselves laughing; and when the king got done capering and capered off behind the scenes, they roared and clapped and stormed and haw-hawed till he come back and done it over again, and after that they made him do it another time. Well, it would make a cow laugh to see the shines that old idiot cut.
Then the duke he lets the curtain down, and bows to the people, and says the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more, on accounts of pressing London engagements, where the seats is all sold already for it in Drury Lane; and then he makes them another bow, and says if he has succeeded in pleasing them and instructing them, he will be deeply obleeged if they will mention it to their friends and get them to come and see it.
Twenty people sings out:
“What, is it over? Is that all?”
The duke says yes. Then there was a fine time. Everybody sings out, “Sold!” and rose up mad, and was a-going for that stage and them tragedians. But a big, fine looking man jumps up on a bench and shouts:
“Hold on! Just a word, gentlemen.” They stopped to listen. “We are sold – mighty badly sold. But we don’t want to be the laughing stock of this whole town, I reckon, and never hear the last of this thing as long as we live. No. What we want is to go out of here quiet, and talk this show up, and sell the rest of the town! Then we’ll all be in the same boat. Ain’t that sensible?” (“You bet it is! – the jedge is right!” everybody sings out.) “All right, then – not a word about any sell. Go along home, and advise everybody to come and see the tragedy.”
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